Personal Journal - All Alone With a Monster
July 10, 1997 –Thursday Evening
Fortunately throughout this experience I am not frightened, I am not afraid to die or be killed. As much as I am hated it is obviously by divine intervention in ways that will never be know that I am alive today.
I truly do not understand why I am allowed to be tormented and tortured by the United States Government. I must always be on guard and extremely careful. They constantly dig pits for me – my only trust and hope is in God.
July 16, 1997 – Wednesday Morning
I have been in this place which I call a zoo, for so long I hold no expectations of ever being freed. With this perspective it makes it difficult to even ponder what my feelings would be – I have grown so accustom to this type of life. I could never have survived these past four years if it had not been for the Bible Study which I do each day on my own being as one taught by God, through His word; I follow His trail through the wilderness which takes a very sharp eye to see. It has been an escape and a passion for me. I truly love the work and amazingly never tire of it.
I will pray – for God’s mercy and compassion and most importantly for His guidance and counsel.
I wish I knew where the stink of the allergens was coming from. I wish God would do something. Yet, I am so grateful to God for the Bible Study, it occupies my day and time in a most enjoyable way, even thought I am condemned and tortured for doing it. There is still so much work to be done – and that delights my soul, because if the time I spend here extends though out Clinton’s term – there will yet be hope.
January 20, 1998 – Tuesday Morning
My little cat Alex woke up gagging and snorting. This went off and on for about an hour. They must have increased the allergen level while I was sleeping. I as well have an excessive amount of allergen film.
January 22, 1998 – Thursday Morning
Alex was choke coughing – and sneezed blood out of his nose. My breath is very short – Oh, God – please help me! All I ask for is air to breath – that should never be too much to ask for. Please help your servant God – this cross is such a heavy load. If Your will prescribes me to carry this further yet – than I have no alternative. If so – then give me strength to endure to the very end. Open doors God – please open doors. I am so weary of suffering –
April 18, 1998 – Saturday Evening
Alex is very sick – he got sick again yesterday – and has not recovered. His little heart is pumping very fast – he hasn’t eaten since Friday – this is the second day. I need to get some fluid in him – and an extra dose of his high calorie vitamin supplement. I increased his prednisone to 2 tablets – one in the morning – one in the evening. He is not improving – I am so worried about him. I don’t want him to die-
I’ve prayed to God – all day. I know it’s up to God – I hope He lets Alex live. I’m doing everything I can to block the allergens. I really want to die – I’m not feeling well myself because of the allergens – and every task is a mountain.
May 17, 1998 – Saturday sometime towards evening.
(Life as a prisoner in America)
It could have been all over for me today. I was so ill last night- all night long. I was sick from the “allergen sickness” that I spoke of before – lasting an hour or so, but this lasted all night. I am being tortured.
Then this morning I heard a bunch of doors slamming – it is a message for my tormenters - the usual message – “You’re not getting out of here.” They use it as symbolism to convey their message, kind of like slamming the door in one’s face. Of course they then turned the allergens up – and I was beginning to really get sick – the spasms started. My arms and head were jerking, because the allergens had reached my central nervous system. And I coughed up a great amount of mucus.
They then cut the power off – all of my thirteen air purifiers where shut down. I had purchased these one at a time (through the “Easy Living Store” who subsequently made me sign a release for buying so many) thinking that the next one would over power the allergens that my tormentors were filling the trailer with. My Universal Life Policy was sacrificed in the purchase of these purifiers. You can’t see the allergens but they are in the air, some of the have a scent.
I had placed the window fan from the living room into the hall way to try to suck out some of the sickening air. And now all the power was turned off – and my utility payments were up to date. No air purifiers - now no fan. I didn’t have any choice but to go outside. I took Alex my cat with me because he is allergic to these allergens as well.
So here I am on a sheet I spread out on the concrete. Alex is right beside me. I haven’t eaten much over the last week.
I plan to spend the night out here. I have the dog collar that I kept after my dog Missy died, so I’m going to put her collar around Alex’s middle – with a make shift leash – towards the time of evening. I have no idea what time it is. When the sun begins to set – I’ll take Alex, as well as his water and litter inside – I don’t want another cat to share his things for the chance of his contracting feline leukemia. I will be extremely careful about him.
I’m very weak – I need to sleep – but I will wait until after it gets dark.
Alex is being very cooperative – he’s just resting on the sheet.
May 18, 2011 – Sunday Morning Sometime at Day Break
The birds woke me up singing before day break. Camping out here leisurely during the day can be tolerated, I’m not so certain however about spending the night openly, that people may know, so I will get up before full sun.
Alex has a lot of allergen residue around his nose – it’s from the inside of his nose. Other than his nose running he appears to be okay. I placed Missy’s collar around his middle and attached a leash, which I then tied to my wrist. That’s the way we slept – he attached to my writs in case he got up during the night – then I would feel the tug and he would as well be restrained.
Alex seems to be adjusting well – he’s snuggled here right beside me under the sheet.
Unfortunately, I must consider this to be a possible way of life for us, Alex and myself.
I’m suffering from occasional asthmatic attacks – my guess is residue allergen in my bronchial tubes or lungs. Alex is still snorting – and has discharge from his nose. His hair is a total mess, he is so matted. He let me groom him a bit as we wasted away the evening together yesterday – being exiled from the house. We are being tortured by the United States Government under Clinton’s watch.
Right at the moment Ales is asleep in my lap – he need’s the security – with this new environment.
The most difficult part of this is just to accept this as a reality … and a way of life. I must pan wisely and be prepared … certainly I can survive.
My chin is breaking out in a rash – to be expected.
Why can’t this persecution be stopped? The government has no right – I am not a criminal, I’ve done nothing wrong.
May 6, 2011 – The Monster Still Reigns in America
Alex has long since died. We both camped out in the yard for the entire summer until early November of that same year. One morning three police men came into my yard. I was backed up against the side of the trailer; one police man was to my right, the other to my left and one dead center. They said some people wanted to talk to me. I was escorted to Truman Medical Center for a psyche evaluation. There in went my credibility. There is much more to the summer’s account in my daily journal which I kept. I did write a personal account of this to Dr. Arturo Quiason, in Independence, Missouri. Those records should be in his file. Also, the court order gives a true account of this event.
Even to this very day, they are using allergens. At present I am suffering from a sinus infection onset by a very powerful allergen. I am on an antibiotic, but they are still saturating the house with their deadly poison. I am still alone in this struggle.
This very night I am once again exiled from my home at least for this night. I am being tortured and inhumanely treated. The sad part of it is, I am a United States citizen.
Medicine Man
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